in the morning... went for service...
service was extremely great...
after so long, i felt tat i have left God out of my blog...
so should blog about his word...
"moving mountain"
i just felt that there are lots of testing upon my life right now...
how am i going to overcome each obstacle...
saying with my mouth but not believing it is no use...
so i need to say with my mouth and believe it with my heart...
after service, lijuan called up...
my little princess daffodil came to church...
then after my cg debrief...
rushed off to go and find them...
then i was playing with her... CATCHING...
haha.. then carry her to go and buy drinks...
she is getting sweeter...
forgot to take her picture ytd...
if not i confirm will post... haha...
then after tat, jas wanted me to go and join the cg...
then just go lor... since shi en also say go...
well, after so long... finally my cellgroup saw me...
then had fun with them fellowshipping...
with the indian asent becos of Alan & his drama ministry...
jasmine with her teacher style...
raymond with his lame jokes... changing all the cg names...
then talk to my cgl for a while...
then went to teach shi en E maths...

actually wanted to go for POS at ngee ann de...
but then... jie yi say dun need...
go for tml de... cos quite late le..

went down to vivo find the 2 penguins tat almost killed me...
then we went shopping... hee hee...
then bought our dinner(by then quite late le lor) then went to sit by the fences to see sentosa...
it is really enjoying...
then went arcade to destress again...
cos today MONDAY BLUES...
thanks guys, once again...
we just let go of ourselves...
forgot all about the coding we had to do...
all the unhappiness for that short moment...
even since attachment started...
i dunno what is enjoy? what is rest?
thanks for these 2 days to really let out everything...
before 4 of us go crazy... haha...

deep thoughts...
there are many things that led me thinking the whole day...
my mind is exploding soon...

someone told me this: People will fail you but God will never fail you...

was talking to my friends ytd... suddenly a question was pop out to me... if it happens again, this time round... will i give him another chance?? hmm..

to EG, i know that ever since i started my attachment... i have been very busy... i will try to meet you all up... really sorry... for all the flying of kites... that i am not able to make it to due things crop up suddenly...

sitting in the office...
mind went astray...
simply frustrated with myself...
why cant i get the things i wan...
so decided to take a break...
before i break down...

was chatting with someone last nite...
realised that we actually had simliar thinking...
is it good or is it bad?
amazing how we look upon ourselves...
amazing how we managed to cover our emotions...
amazing how we can endure...
amazing how we look upon life...
amazing how we can keep everything to ourselves...
amazing how our emotions never affect our work...
we are just in our own amazing world...

was reading someone's blog...
it is just amazing...
how we can live in our world...
how we can do the amazing things...
how amazing we can to sit in front of the com looking at 8 hours of java...
how amazing sometimes being alone can be great...
we are just amazed with ourselves the life we can endure...

was amazed about someone...
how amazing work can be to her...
how amazing no matter how tired she is, she continue working...
how amazing that she can stay till late at nite in office just to finish the coding...
even though she was not paid for them...
how amazing she didnt even keep complaining about it...
even though she completed it and was asked to re-do cos there were errors...
we are just amazing...

since attachment started...
people ask me...
is this the life i want after attachment...
is this wat i wan for my future?
is this wat i wan as a job...
i dunno...
i just simply enjoy wat i am doing now...
for the future...
wait till i end my poly education...

though it is tiring looking at coding...
though it is tiring designing website...
though it is tiring facing the computer screen from morning to nite...
but it is just amazing how happy we can get...
the joy in our face...
the bonding you had with your team-mates...
after sleepless nights...
after starving days...
after endless of arguements...
after stressful days...
with tears...
with anger...
with frustration...
just to see the program/website that we created work...
maybe it is just us...
yes, it is tiring...
yes, it is taxing...
but when we start...
sometimes, it is simply hard to make us stop work...
it make us frustrated when we cannot get wat we wanted...
so we dun stop until we get wat we wan...
just to see the joy of others when we complete our work...
and the satisfaction we have upon ourselves...
Maybe this is just our amazing IT life...

went driving after work...
was super down due to things at work...
was tired so cant concentrate...
my instructor was great...
managed to made me high...
told my phone...
msg cherie... *faint*
then listening to the conversation...
you can really row on the floor...
i was laughing as i was driving...
we listen to my hp music while i was driving...
power rite?? haha

took cab, rush down for POS training...
though i was tired...
but i had to hold on...
ngee ann is on fire...
doing something different...
again...
because of the competition...
exercises...
dieting...
eating lesser and lesser each day...
or just to drink water for the whole day...

hmm...
i am tired...
i managed to pull myself up...
dun wish to fall again...
i dun wan to fall deeper...




anyway, i found this video on you tube...
becos of something...
involved de...
should understand y la...

just came out from the meeting room...
no one expected it...
but it did...

as the project we are going to do...
supposely to be part of it...
report done...
WBS done...
gantt chart done...
now...
suddenly, we are asked to do everything...
becos they are inter link...
they used 10 years...
i left 2 months...
possible??
how??
give me all my time??
24/7??

mind is in a mess now...
thinking of how to solve this problem...

work start at 8am...
work until almost missed my lunch break...
work until almost forgot that time to go off...
till someone called...

supposed to go and visit bel...
but i didnt know they were going so late...
anyway, i cant go also...
parents will never allow...

wanted to meet cherie to go out...
dunno where to go...
plus she is tired le...
so she went home to rest...

then i...
went back to ngee ann for POS training...
learn the dance steps...
help in the stunts...
6 more weeks before competition...
going to intense training...
need to sacrifice even more time to practice...
time to go to the gym...
had fun...
tml another day of training...
hope our training will be fruitful tml...
leg seems to be numb le...
no longer feel the pain though it is swollen...
maybe endure till no feeling...
dun stop me...
not everyone can change my mind...
dun push your luck...
stubborn i can be...
sorry...

went for service...
usual, serving for usher...
external...
finally, change of job...
FOYER 3!! haha...
Serve for ministering...
wanted to go and see the POS...
but dunno where they went le...
so didnt go but slack around...

went down to bugis to meet goldie and elephant...
went to the library...
then went to search for the books we wanted...
to help us in our attachment project...
then went to mac to continue to study...
until turtle came to find us...
then it was quite late le lor...
then they wanted to go and eat seoul garden...
actually wanted to go and find rach and gang...
but then too late le.. today still have to work...
so went with them...
had a great time...
to the point, wo pei mummy tou pai...
also dunno, until i see her blog.. faint...
then something interesting happen...
gt flying chopsticks...
from our table to the next table...
want to know who did it?
you will faint...
but everyone was looking...
and 4 of us laughed until almost roll onto the floor...

then we talked about teletubbies, haha...
my favourite song...
then went to call cab...
cos 3 out of 4 phone ringing le... (from home..die)
then managed to get a cab...
but stupid taxi driver 1640A took another passenger...
super hot la, so i called them back and got another cab...
better, this taxi driver make me and elephant super high on the cab...
somemore i got his hp number...
say next time need cab can call him straight... haha...
went home, something like drama happen...


** notice all the names have changed...
haha...
each time we go out together...
interesting things will definitely happen...

unhappy things happen on sat...
i shall not talk about it...

sorry to spoil the whole thing in the beginning...
but becos you guys were there...
once again...
make my mood came back...
especially with 4 elephants...
and the family of 3 de giraffe...
giraffe is giraffe la.. not kangaroo... (say wrongly la.. )

but knowing you all is really great...
make that day such a wonderful day...

i wan to adopt my penguin... *sobs sobs*

well..

went to someone's blog today...
heard this song on her blog...
at first it seems nothing...
but as it plays...
tears flow down...
so uncontrollable...
i tried to stop it...
but cant...
memories of the past came back...
the hurts...
the laughters...
the pains...
the tears...
the places that we went...
the promises that we had...
the times we spend together at our favourite place...
we used to be so close...
all in the very room...
listening to this song...
sleeping,chatting...
waiting for those who will end their lessons late...
but all because of 1 thing...
we argued...
we fight...
eventually we split up...

i thought i had let go...
i thought i have forgotten...
but everything is in my head once again...

tired...
getting busier each day...
more and more things to do...
forgot about lunch today...
so skip it lo...
stoning from time to time...
wish to share with you...
but how...
mood changes like weather...
i am running against...
this battle is not easy...
doing things that i never done before...
learning things that i dun know...
i am just losing my cheerfulness...
i am losing my smile day by day...

first time late for work...
late for 5 mins...
haix...
ytd was really monday blues...
super moody...
but mood seems to be worse today...
went for POS training after work...
tired...
leg still hurt...
but i know i had to carry on...
many things in mind...
many things to think about...
but wat can i say...
only to look forward to a better day...

tired...
didnt make it for service...
too late by then...
went down to orchard to meet cherie and hx...
went k box...
saw aifred, guan zhou, ren qin...
china trip guys meeting up too...
went to buy our elephant...
took train to newton...
eat our stingay...
eat our sotong...
eat our clams...
took bus home...
tired le...
have to start work again tml...
another week of battle...
late le...
mind tired le...
good nite...

at 2.34am... with a blur mind.. i still doing my things.. but no choice.. anyway, i took abit of time out to go and look into friendster and people's blog... and i realised something... i have been neglecting lots and lots of friends... because of my studies... my work... my attachment... etc...

smses coming in to me today, then they haven seen me for very long le... when can they see me.. i was been thinking about the question but then maybe as the nite falls... i start to think of the past things that happen.. and eventually asking myself the question...

only last nite... then i managed to contact one of my cg member who backslided... after so many years in church?? i dunno la.. but i just questioned myself... why i didnt know about it... many times they have asked me out... but i had to make decision... should i be fair to give them some of my time... to be there with them??

i think it also about time for me to really manage my time well to meet up with them... because friends dun come easy... and definitely... a friendship does need 2 hands to clap... with 1 is trying and the other is not.. then there will nt be any effect.. but if both party is trying.. then they are be a result...

finally, i changed my blog back to black.. heez.. anyway, someone commented that i only talked about china trip in my blog but didnt really post pictures... okie la.. after a few days of emo-ing.. i shall post some china trip pictures...

i am tired...
all you do is to nag...
all to do is not to believe me...
why am on this earth for...

questioning almost everyday...
i am not your prisioner...
controlling this...
controlling that...
i am not your pet...

do report...
dun believe...
study...
dun believe...
then ask for wat...
just take it as what you think it is...

i am really getting tired...
fighting for what i want everyday...
making my stand making me feel like falling each day...
why does it still so difficult then the past...

i dun have the strength to carry on...
i need a break...
can i...
i need you to believe...
can i...
i need family support...
can i...

life is in a mess for me...

hmm...
emo-ness is contagious...
1 low...
the rest start to feel low...
reasons for been low...
people that make you low...
no one knows...
not even yourself...

at times feeling helpless...
at times feeling hopeless...
at times when you in need a friend...
at times when you just need a shoulder...
at times when you just need a listening ear...
you turned...
no one was there for you...

standing in the center of orchard road...
people walking pass you...
standing by the side of heavy traffic...
cars coming to and fro...
standing by the sea side...
waves are coming in and out...
standing at the tallest building...
wind is blowing towards you...
then you realised...
you are standing there all alone...

rain or shine...
thunder or lightning...
no one simply understand...
how much hurt one can go through...
just simply because...

people whom you trust left...
things that shouldnt happen, happen...
people whom you trust hurt you...
things that you said hurt others...

to the very end...
nothing can be changed since it is done...
only to keep them deep down in your heart...
till the next thing happen...
when you start to think back to the past...
your screw on the tap will loosen once again...
water will start to flow continuously without a stop...

finally today is the start of everything.. this morning.. still slacking.. haha.. then in the afternoon.. real battle began.. went for meetings.. start to learn how everything works.. i mean i am in the IT sector.. but this is still a engineering company so it is better for me to learn more la.. so learn about piping today.. haha..

i was supposed to meet chicken rice cling today.. but really sorry.. i didnt make it in the end.. then nat say wan to kick me out le.. haha.. hmm.. really sorry la.. then after tat, went to meet hanxiang and cherie.. talk about TOR.. hee hee.. then gt some reference coding of the DWA from hanxiang... then at least.. i can refresh the coding in my head.. we really wan to do well for this sem lo.. cos this is our final year le.. whether we can get into U really depends alot.. cos we are really putting in effort..

this is only the beginning... though we know that the road in front of us might not be smooth but xiaoxuan, xiaoxiang.. let's jia you together... xiaoling.. wish you all the best in her class.. haha.. there could be times that we are tired, we are stress but let's nt forget our final destination.. =)

i really wan to thank God for the great supervisor i had.. the great people that i am going to work with.. been new to the place.. yet they brought me around.. though only attachment.. they gave me a company e-mail.. a table.. a desktop... stationeries... and great people that i can learn from.. wat more do i ask?

meet up with them again...
ask the stress on cherie...
stress is building up on us again...
projects rushing...
TOR not finish...
prepare for OT...
doing things which didnt do in sch before...

wish tml will be a better day...
start of project tml...
microsoft access...
my SQL...
ASP.NET...
programming code...
running through my head...
i am scare...
final project le...
can i really score and do well...
get into where my parents wan me to be???

suddenly feeling super down...
not been sensitive to little things...
missing out things...
missing out friend's birthday...
missing out friend's departure...
forgetting this...
forgetting that...
leaving out this...
leaving out that...

haix..
i tried..
but you didnt me gave a chance to explain...
you didnt give me another chance...

emotionally...
physically...
mentally...

things piling up...
attachment starting tue...
sch events...
camps coming up...
EMERGE coming up...
POS, Track & Field...
cg in need of guitarist...
npcc not able to go back...
i am stretching myself day by day...
it's tiring...
i'm breaking down...
my leg still hurts...
i'm enduring the pain...
each time i walk...

hurting myself...
time after time...
tried to stop...
but it is never easy...

i tried to talk to you...
but you are simply too busy...
i tried to hint to you...
but you didnt get the hint...
i tried to speak to you...
but there are always distraction... (if this is the case..just leave it as it is)

thurs..went sentosa with hanxiang, cherie, jac and of course i am there.. haha.. supposed to meet at 11am at vivo.. but then hx and i were late.. haha.. anyway, in the morning.. started off with 9.35am.. received call from my ah yi..then chat on the phone.. then after changed to conference with my mummy with my ah yi of course... haha.. then we meet at vivo at 11.40pm.. then took the green monorail down to beach station... going to the beach... wa.. the sun super NOT HOT lo.. within the 10 mins.. i think i started to be roasted le.. haha..

Name: Vanessa Tan
Bdae: 16/03/1987
Status:Single
School: SIM - UOL
Course: Bsc In Business
Highest Education: Diploma in IT(Major: E-Biz)
My facebook:Facebook
E-mail & MSN: van.tan87@hotmail.com
Got Saved: 28 March 2005
Join Usher Ministry: 22 March 2006
Youtube link:my videos
21st Birthday celebration: 15th March 2008
Ngee Ann Poly Graduation Ceremony: 27th May 08
SOT Graduation 2008: 23th & 24th Aug 08

Bukit Batok Pri Sch(1994 - 1999)
1Q, 2Q, 3Q, 4Q, 5Truth, 6Hope

Jurong Secondary Sch(2000 - 2004)
1C, 2C, 3B, 4B, 5A

Ngee Ann Poly (2005 - 2008)
0508 (IT course)

Bible Training Center (April 2008 - August 2008) SOT Team 23

Usher Ministry
G4S5C - Welfare & Helper
G11S1D - Welfare & Helper
G11S1C - Team IC & Sect Welfare

Personal Achievement:
1 Star Kayakking (22nd Jun 2008)
SSC Napfa Tester(2005)

LAST UPDATED PROFILE:18th JULY 2009

Get into University start sch on Aug 3rd 09

Own Room

Honda Jazz

New Black Blazer claimed on 15th July 09

New Jacket claimed on 25th June 09

Hoodies

Omnia II

New Clothes

New Camera

shoes

Addias Cool Shirt

Go Genting went 14-19 June 09

Go Taiwan

Go South Korea

Crumpler Backpack claimed on 27th Aug 09

♥ Overseas TriPs ♥

Australia(Perth) - (relatives) Apr 2004

Japan(Tokyo) - (family) Dec 2005

NP BE Laos Team 2006 - 22 sept to 6 oct 2006

Thailand(Bangkok) - (family) Dec 2006

NP ICT China Trip 2007 - 6 Mar to 15 Mar 2007

Japan(Tokyo,Osaka,Kyoto) - 14 dec to 22 dec 2007

China(Beijing) - (family) 24 Apr to 29 Apr 2008

Malaysia(Sibu) - (SOT Mission) 11 Jul to 13 Jul 2008

♥ her loves

CHattiNg oN pHonE
Cycling
Daydreaming
Family
Friends
LiSteNiNg tO MuSiC
Watching Movies
Playing Sports
Travelling
SENTOSA
Shopping
K-boxing
Sleeping
SwimminG
Usher Ministry 4S5
Usher Ministry G1112
Orchard POpular Staff

♥ Movies Watched in Cinema

* Night in the Museum - 4th Jan 07
* Ghost Rider - 22th Feb 07
* Just Follow Law - 27th Feb 07
* Meet the Robinsons - 9th Apr 07
* SpiderMan 3 - 1st May 07
* Pirates of the Caribbean, At World's End - 24th May 07
* Shrek 3 - 6th Jun 07
* Fanastic 4 - 13th Jun 07
* Transformer - 30th Jun 07
* Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix - 12th July 07
* The Simpsons Movie - 27th July 2007
* Rush Hour 3 - 12th Aug 2007
* Ratatouille - 1st Sept 2007
* 881 - 28th Sept 2007
* Balls of Fury - 03rd Oct 2007
* Unrest - 29th Oct 2007
* Enchanted - 24th Nov 2007
* Tattooist - 30th Nov 2007

* Kung Fu Dunk - 3rd Feb 2008
* CJ7 - 14th Feb 2008
* Ah Long Pte Ltd - 14 Feb 2008
* L change the world - 24 Feb 2008
* Meet the Spartans - 07 Mar 2008
* The Spiderwick - 14 Mar 2008
* The Orphanage - 21 Mar 2008
* The Forbidden Kingdom - 23 April 2008
* Superhero Movie - 30 April 2008
* Iron Man - 2nd May 2008
* The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - 29th May 2008
* Sex and the City - 1st Jun 2008
* Kung Fu Panda - 13th Jun 2008
* Meet the Zohan - 27th Jun 2008
* Money No Enough 2 - 24th Aug 2008
* Wall-E - 29th Aug 2008
* Boys over Flowers - 19th Sept 2008
* Big Stan - 6th Oct 2008

* Red Cliff 2 - 12th Jan 2009
* Marley and Me - 06th Mar 2009
* Coming Soon - 12th Mar 2009
* Unborn - 27th Mar 2009
* Friday the 13th - 27th Apr 2009
* 17 Again - 30th Apr 2009
* Angels and Demons - 26 May 2009
* Terminator Salvation - 15 June 2009
* I Love You Man - 30 June 2009
* Where got Ghost - 16 Aug 2009

♥ shout-out

♥ WALAU SERIBU REBAH

我从来不曾 怀疑过
到底你有多么爱我
我生命里的每一分钟
都有你看顾着我
有的时候黑暗临到
有的时候巨浪狂风
我心依然满有平安
因为有你看顾我
我的主

不管前面道路有多困苦
耶稣你永远是我的帮助
只要有你在我生命中
永远看顾
我必能一路永跟随
我的主

♥♥ JW USHER MINISTRY G11 + G12 ♥♥

UM BLTC
G11 Blog
Wan Yun
Lay Hwa
Kenrus
Trinity
Jermaine
En Yun
Dion
Rui Xiang
Xin Yi
Sharon
Li Zhi

♥♥ EG ♥♥

EG
Feng Ming
Jing Xuan
Rachel
Ray
Xin Yan
Natalie

♥♥ Family ♥♥

E-Lis

♥ ♥ ♥

~CHC~
WYZ Zone
SOT Team 23
Fang-Yi
lovely 4S5
Huiming Jie
Celeste
Pei Fen
Jean
*][Charmaine Thng ][
Jul
Michelle Leong
*][JayMe][
Charmaine
Eunice
*][Soo Eng][
Judy
NP POS
NP POS - Hui Xiang
*NP POS - Michelle
][AdRiAn][
W360 - ][HuI ZheN][
WYZ Zone - Terry

~Ngee Ann Poly~
hi5 - Hui Ying
hi5 - Celestine
T08 - JacQue|iNe
T08 - Shelin
Laos Team 2006 - ][ChEnG ChEnG][
Laos Team 2006 - ][Debbie][
*Laos Team 2006 - ][pEi XiN][
*Laos Team 2006 - ][Shirley][
*China Trip 2007 - ][Ada][
*China Trip 2007 - ][Cherie][
*China Trip 2007 - ][Han Xiang][

~TOO Popular~
Peggy
Fang Ming
Xiu Li
Nyssa
Yvonne

~Friends~
Area 17 CI - Jason
NDP 2003 - Xiao Yuan
Jurong Sec - ][KaReEn][
Jurong Sec - ][WeN][
Jurong Sec - ][Suliani][
Jurong Sec - ][Gayithri][
Jurong Sec - ][GraCe][
Jurong Sec - ][EuNicE][
Jurong Sec - TiVoNa
Jurong Sec - ][JoLeNe][
Jurong Sec - ][HuI JiE][
Jurong Sec - ][JiA XiN][
Jurong Sec - ][Cynthia][

~WOrLd of stars~
Felicia Chin
*][Lao Zha Bo][
*][Director Jack Neo][

♥ MOTIVATION & REFLECTION

To succeed is to stay focus on 1 thing at a time.

Never run away from a problem. Face it or it will haunt you.

Every Morning, when I wake up, I treasure the innocence of being able to enjoy each day.

We can disagree with each other but we must never doubt each other.

I dont need people to decide for me, I will decide my own pathway.

~Teaching~
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

♥ Memories

• 2004 - 2006
• January 2007
• February 2007
• March 2007
• April 2007
• May 2007
• June 2007
• July 2007
• August 2007
• September 2007
• October 2007
• November 2007
• December 2007
• January 2008
• February 2008
• March 2008
• April 2008
• May 2008
• June 2008
• July 2008
• August 2008
• September 2008
• October 2008
• November 2008
• December 2008
• January 2009
• February 2009
• March 2009
• April 2009
• May 2009
• June 2009
• July 2009
• August 2009
• September 2009
• October 2009

♥ Affiliates

FRIENDSTER
ICT CHINA TRIP 07
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Christian Guitar Chords
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Imeem