it is already 3.40am and i am still not sleeping... haha..

fine.. i shall cut the whole story short... after work.. waited for nikki then shawn, lihui, nikki and me took a cab down to lagoon food center.. wa.. we ordered a few dishes... but halfway, we decided to call joey to come down cos nikki say joey msg her.. haha..

so we managed to persuade joey to come down.. then we started to joke and crack rubbish and all the imaginations... we actually stayed till about 2plus before we decided to take a cab and headed home.. okie la.. very tired le.. good nite..

cos tml ned to work.. :)

on the 23rd dec... it was joleen's birthday... so after work i went down to her chalet.. though i was quite tired due to every thing happening around but then they insist that i go since i already promised her.. so i went down.. then they started drinking hard liquor..wow!! haha.. of course i joined in.. when winnie and xue min wanted to leave.. i wanted to leave with them but joleen dun allow cos i just reach not long.. haha.. fine.. so i stayed lo.. then jia jie came.. with bryan.. yan shan.. we started talking aboutnd the days in JSS.. the trouble that we got into and we played so crazily.. haha.. and we are actually chat for about 2 -3 hours leh... just on our secondary life.. haha..

then after tat, we decided to move into the chalet cos the rain is getting bigger... so then went in then they decided to play majong.. joleen and i dun know how to play.. so yanshan and joleen's friend taught us how to play... guess wat?? we played till moring 8plus... haha..but then maybe it is also a good thing cos i will not think so much and my mind can relax to let me feel out of the world for a while.. haha..

then the next day, went down to xuemin's place first cos yanshan forgot that her wallet is with xuemin then we took a cab home.. wanted to catch some sleep before going church but ended up not really sleeping cos calls keep coming in.. aiyo...

then at nite.. went to my grandma's place for dinner.. though in 2 hours.. we finish 5 bottles of wine and everyone seems enjoying... but then everyone's heart is heavy and really praying for my godpa's recovery to be out of ICU... to be out of danger..

maybe after all the drinking.. somehow the moment i reach home.. i fell asleep... haha.. maybe it is good.. cos i also forgot when was my last time sleeping so peacefully..

finally.. my grandfather has been discharge but then my godpa is in ICU now.. arrggg... my family is really going crazy very soon.. one by one.. even for me... i really trying my best to hang on... but then i am getting very tired too... physically running from hospital to my grandparents place.. and mentally.. though my grandpa is discharge but becos lying too long on the bed.. he cant walk around now.. so everything is done by us.. past few days, wasnt online.. cos i will be busying make sure he take his medicine and think of wat to cook for him... why only me?? my aunt and everyone are equally tired.. everyday, my mum will go home after work... after dinner.. she will bath my grandpa with my aunt.. being his favourite.. he will always be looking for me.. thus, i have to cancel all appointments to be there with him...

today, my grandma complained about her knee cap.. so my mum says.. if really no choice, she has to go for the operation.. wa!! siao!! already 2 down.. 1 more down.. how are we going to take it?? by the time they recover... we are the next we are going to drop..

really hoping my godpa can be out of ICU too.. my godma is really very very tired le.. to the extent.. we might not celebrate christmas this year...


anyway, thanks for group 11 leaders are brightening me up on sat.. without you guys.. i guess i cant go on.. your smile really bring joy to me.. haha.. guess that wat we are good in.. and of course the encouraging words that sis kat told me.. i will hold on as long as i can.. :)

lastly, God, all i wan for christmas this year is just FAMILY HEALTH.. nothing more.. no one going to be admitted into hospital anymore.. i wan to live cheerful and joyful..

well.. my grandfather is so much better.. hopefully he can be discharge by the weekends... but then.. my godpa has been admitted into hospital.. my family is actually going crazy... we are now moving from wards to wards.. honestly, other than reading the news.. we dont know wat is going on.. cos from morning to nite.. we are in SGH.. hope this type of life will end soon.. i am very super tired le..

anyway, tat time during my cousin's wedding.. i didnt post any photos... cos i was not in the mood.. but then decided to post it today.. but going to post a few only ba.. :P


my hair that is done for jie jie's wedding


tat's me after all the make up and i am ready to set off..


me and jie jie..


me, jie jie, ku ku and stephen kor kor..

last few days, honestly.. everyday, i am crying... i guess.. the worse was on sat morning.. when the hospital called to say, they had no choice to tie my grandfather.. cos he is fall precaution but yet.. he can climb off the bed.. and he was not able to get discharge to attend my cousin's wedding.. when everyone was in my cousin's place.. our heart just sank.. then my aunt's eyes was very disappointed and red.. after the tea ceremony.. then we rushed home.. changed and went to the hospital.. when i see my grandpa.. both his hands are tied to the side.. our heart sank... then he started to say he wan to go toilet.. but the problem is he should nt have the feeling cos there is a tube to let it out by itself.. and he kept asking my father not to hold his hands... and let him go.. then he say there gt small space.. can go down and go toilet...

my grandma couldnt take it.. she started to cry.. at this time.. he say he wan to drink coffee.. so i went to buy coffee.. when i went out of the ward.. i broke down.. then when i came back.. i saw my dad hugging my grandma crying.. then they asked me to push her out.. when i pushed her outside.. we both cried.. my sis came out and cried too.. then my cousins all came out to cry... my aunt was controlling her tears... i cried till my eyes was red and swollen..

on sunday... early in the morning.. went to see my grandfather... he was better.. but then he cant remember anything.. to him.. we are overseas.. he gt robbed and he is in hospital which looks like general hopsital.. sometimes.. he is in japanese occupation world war II, sometimes, he is on the cruise.. sometimes.. he is in china and ask why we still not going home?? on sunday, i broke down again..

monday, it was better thought he kept repeating his questions.. and thanks for my CG- W360's support for me to go on so far.. i would not have been able to be so strong without them and of course my wonderful UM leader You Mei, fellowship leader.. en yun and EG.. ray.. for all the smses and concern they had.. if not for their encouragment i would have dropped already.. and thanks for my CG those who came down to visit my grandfather.. and the gifts.. on behalf of my family.. i thank all of you...

really hope that my grandfather will be discharge soon.. i already lost my smile.. and only tears in my eyes every single day..

just wan to apologise to You Mei for not doing all my forecast well but yet.. you didnt say a thing.. thanks for allowing me to take my time though it is for sat..

thanks G11 leaders... for that i will not be able to join in making the christmas presents and thanksgiving but then i believe you guys are going to surprise our dear ushers.. you guys didnt complain a single beat or call me to ask about forecast..

firstly.. let's talk about my day... couldnt really sleep last nite... woke up every 2 - 3 hours thinking it is morning so tat i can go down to the hospital to visit my grandfather... so i woke up at 10am then went to get everything really to go down to hospital... then today, maybe everyone was there.. i could control my tears much easier... and my grandfather still remember that i told him i wan to get him a new phone.. so i left the hospital to upgrade his phone for him... he was so happy.. but he keep saying want to write down his account no and password for us.. but everyone say NO...

words cant describe wat i am feeling right now.. i just wish that my grandfather will be discharge soon... cos YOU PROMISED JIE JIE YOU WILL BE AT HER WEDDING.. YOU PROMISED THAT YOU WILL WITNESS MY UNIVERSITY GRADUATION...

anyway, but then my cgl knock some senses into my head last nite.. she might not read this.. but then just wan to thank her for knocking some sense into my head.. i might not be listening to you while you were talking but the words did sank in and i dig it out to think today.

i was on the cab and then she called... kind of getting scolded by her la for missing cgm and service... and in my heart i was thinking.. crazy lo.. here i am worried for my grandfather and sobbing... but then as my heart and emotion are calmer today.. i started to think of wat she said...

van... just feel that after AC you are back to your old self of finding excuses and not making effort to go cgm and service.. when you told wuay boon that you will not be able to be there for whole of dec.. it is like you have already made a decision.. you can choose... your connect group seems to be everywhere when you are not around.. cos there is no leadership.. guang sheng has already become more spiritual then before.. you say your parents might not be happy... but then if you can already make your stand and go through the 6 months of SOT.. waking in the morning everyday to go for SOT classes.. what is more that you cant handle.. is whether you wan or not?? though i know you have set your heart for Usher Ministry but it is balance and how much influence you have made in people's life.. think about the good times when you are on fire..... etc..

in my heart.. i was boiling.. really boiling... i was thinking again and again.. cgl will just called to say us.. who really understand?? arrgg.. so some of the things she said was shut off from my head.. so i cant really remember wat else she said.. and last nite.. i called enyun to help me take care of my team.. called giselle to settle the My Hope thing.. so that i can MIA for a while.. but then after wat shannon told me.. i decided to take back everything to be responsible and of course becos of wat my own connect group member(guang sheng) told me... when i was talking to him just now.. tml he will wake up early to meet jia thai to find job then head down to the event "emerge" tml nite.. then i was like wa.. tat is going to be tough for you cos you have to wake up early.. then he said "this is a commitment... just like you lor.. gt wat mentor will have wat type of disciple" becos of this too.. i decided to take back the responsiblity i have on hand..

thanks for the little encourgement from my connect group member... thanks for the hidden knock from my cgl.. i know wat i have to try to do next.. stop being a tortoise and stand up to find the things going around me.. :)

i just came back from hospital not long ago... and of course... now i still cant get to sleep... my tears have been flowing down on and off... cooling myself down and crying again... now my eyes are red, puffy and painful.. what happen??

my grandfather was admitted to hospital last night after events happened... then i thought all the doctor need is to give him some medication... but then the doctor called and said that they have to ward him as he has a minor heart attack last night but he does not have a history for it.. so the whole day, my mind was not at the work place... after work... i took a cab down to SGH to visit my grandfather... he was super breathless and when he talk to me... he didnt open his eyes... looking at the tubes... and the machines everywhere... needles piercing through this hands...at that point, i really couldnt control myself... as much as i try to hold my emotions, i couldnt... tears just kept flowing...

and he could still tell me to go home early... and said while lying there... he was thinking whether have my sister and i reached home safely?? what we are doing now?? i couldnt help.. tears simply flow... then ask me to go and see him tml.. of course i will... i will forget about everything... nothing is more important than my grandparents...

anyway, i started to loiter around SGH.. until about 11pm then i took a cab home... then was talking to shannon on the phone... ya.. she really hit my head of all the negative thoughts i was thinking... why i am so on fire before but then going downwards?? i have to make my stand for the sake of people around me... but anyway, i thank enyun for your next 2 weeks of hardwork by taking my team too.. and thanks for wanting to come down to visit my grandfather..

indeed being in the same section have 1 way or another allow me to grow and to mature and most of all.. learn from you.

today, after work.. i rush off cos going to yanshan's 21st birthday and some of them are already there... so after work..i took a cab down lo.. then reach there about 10pm.. then zai quan, joleen, jia jie, winnie, xue min all reach le.. then wait for hui wen then we started to take photos... and started to talk about secondary days.. haha.. the food that we miss... well, i think after a long while... i actually meet up with jurong sec people especially my class... 5A... haha.. then we started to have lots of fun crapping.. tat's our favourite and to suan people until there is no standing place for the person.. but then we will get suan back somehow..haha

then yanshan took the liquor out... then at first i was drinking green tea so add chiavs then it was still okie la.. but then ya.. they want me to finish immediately.. waW!! then after tat, jia jie made another cup for me... plain water with martell.. waa.. but then i still want to thank God for these friends.. all scolded jia jie why he still give me the drink when i am already so red..haha.. ops.. sorry jj.. then at 12am... we took a piece of cake and make it on yanshan's face... haha.. :P then after a while, about 12plus.. we left then joleen's bf drove us to jurong west... then winnie and i walked to boon lay area before taking a cab home..

the next birthday party to attend... joleen's birthday???
but then first.. my cousin's wedding.. :)

today, went for expo service with Pin De and You Mei... then we sat at charlie terr... then after service... we went to logis.. then in the end.. we saw got IT fare.. so aaron, jean, xiao en, feng ming and me went to the IT fare.. to look around.. then after tat, ray came to join us for a while.. then after tat, we went back to logis... then michelle, changyan, fm and i left together cos we going to take train together ma..

then xiao en called me to meet up with us first... so in the end.. we waited for her.. then she is hungry so we decided to go marine parade to eat... then on the way there, we saw bernard... then he also joined us.. we went to food court but then we gt lots of craps to chat.. haha..

okie.. i am tired.. nitez

Name: Vanessa Tan
Bdae: 16/03/1987
Status:Single
School: SIM - UOL
Course: Bsc In Business
Highest Education: Diploma in IT(Major: E-Biz)
My facebook:Facebook
E-mail & MSN: van.tan87@hotmail.com
Got Saved: 28 March 2005
Join Usher Ministry: 22 March 2006
Youtube link:my videos
21st Birthday celebration: 15th March 2008
Ngee Ann Poly Graduation Ceremony: 27th May 08
SOT Graduation 2008: 23th & 24th Aug 08

Bukit Batok Pri Sch(1994 - 1999)
1Q, 2Q, 3Q, 4Q, 5Truth, 6Hope

Jurong Secondary Sch(2000 - 2004)
1C, 2C, 3B, 4B, 5A

Ngee Ann Poly (2005 - 2008)
0508 (IT course)

Bible Training Center (April 2008 - August 2008) SOT Team 23

Usher Ministry
G4S5C - Welfare & Helper
G11S1D - Welfare & Helper
G11S1C - Team IC & Sect Welfare

Personal Achievement:
1 Star Kayakking (22nd Jun 2008)
SSC Napfa Tester(2005)

LAST UPDATED PROFILE:18th JULY 2009

Get into University start sch on Aug 3rd 09

Own Room

Honda Jazz

New Black Blazer claimed on 15th July 09

New Jacket claimed on 25th June 09

Hoodies

Omnia II

New Clothes

New Camera

shoes

Addias Cool Shirt

Go Genting went 14-19 June 09

Go Taiwan

Go South Korea

Crumpler Backpack claimed on 27th Aug 09

♥ Overseas TriPs ♥

Australia(Perth) - (relatives) Apr 2004

Japan(Tokyo) - (family) Dec 2005

NP BE Laos Team 2006 - 22 sept to 6 oct 2006

Thailand(Bangkok) - (family) Dec 2006

NP ICT China Trip 2007 - 6 Mar to 15 Mar 2007

Japan(Tokyo,Osaka,Kyoto) - 14 dec to 22 dec 2007

China(Beijing) - (family) 24 Apr to 29 Apr 2008

Malaysia(Sibu) - (SOT Mission) 11 Jul to 13 Jul 2008

♥ her loves

CHattiNg oN pHonE
Cycling
Daydreaming
Family
Friends
LiSteNiNg tO MuSiC
Watching Movies
Playing Sports
Travelling
SENTOSA
Shopping
K-boxing
Sleeping
SwimminG
Usher Ministry 4S5
Usher Ministry G1112
Orchard POpular Staff

♥ Movies Watched in Cinema

* Night in the Museum - 4th Jan 07
* Ghost Rider - 22th Feb 07
* Just Follow Law - 27th Feb 07
* Meet the Robinsons - 9th Apr 07
* SpiderMan 3 - 1st May 07
* Pirates of the Caribbean, At World's End - 24th May 07
* Shrek 3 - 6th Jun 07
* Fanastic 4 - 13th Jun 07
* Transformer - 30th Jun 07
* Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix - 12th July 07
* The Simpsons Movie - 27th July 2007
* Rush Hour 3 - 12th Aug 2007
* Ratatouille - 1st Sept 2007
* 881 - 28th Sept 2007
* Balls of Fury - 03rd Oct 2007
* Unrest - 29th Oct 2007
* Enchanted - 24th Nov 2007
* Tattooist - 30th Nov 2007

* Kung Fu Dunk - 3rd Feb 2008
* CJ7 - 14th Feb 2008
* Ah Long Pte Ltd - 14 Feb 2008
* L change the world - 24 Feb 2008
* Meet the Spartans - 07 Mar 2008
* The Spiderwick - 14 Mar 2008
* The Orphanage - 21 Mar 2008
* The Forbidden Kingdom - 23 April 2008
* Superhero Movie - 30 April 2008
* Iron Man - 2nd May 2008
* The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - 29th May 2008
* Sex and the City - 1st Jun 2008
* Kung Fu Panda - 13th Jun 2008
* Meet the Zohan - 27th Jun 2008
* Money No Enough 2 - 24th Aug 2008
* Wall-E - 29th Aug 2008
* Boys over Flowers - 19th Sept 2008
* Big Stan - 6th Oct 2008

* Red Cliff 2 - 12th Jan 2009
* Marley and Me - 06th Mar 2009
* Coming Soon - 12th Mar 2009
* Unborn - 27th Mar 2009
* Friday the 13th - 27th Apr 2009
* 17 Again - 30th Apr 2009
* Angels and Demons - 26 May 2009
* Terminator Salvation - 15 June 2009
* I Love You Man - 30 June 2009
* Where got Ghost - 16 Aug 2009

♥ shout-out

♥ WALAU SERIBU REBAH

我从来不曾 怀疑过
到底你有多么爱我
我生命里的每一分钟
都有你看顾着我
有的时候黑暗临到
有的时候巨浪狂风
我心依然满有平安
因为有你看顾我
我的主

不管前面道路有多困苦
耶稣你永远是我的帮助
只要有你在我生命中
永远看顾
我必能一路永跟随
我的主

♥♥ JW USHER MINISTRY G11 + G12 ♥♥

UM BLTC
G11 Blog
Wan Yun
Lay Hwa
Kenrus
Trinity
Jermaine
En Yun
Dion
Rui Xiang
Xin Yi
Sharon
Li Zhi

♥♥ EG ♥♥

EG
Feng Ming
Jing Xuan
Rachel
Ray
Xin Yan
Natalie

♥♥ Family ♥♥

E-Lis

♥ ♥ ♥

~CHC~
WYZ Zone
SOT Team 23
Fang-Yi
lovely 4S5
Huiming Jie
Celeste
Pei Fen
Jean
*][Charmaine Thng ][
Jul
Michelle Leong
*][JayMe][
Charmaine
Eunice
*][Soo Eng][
Judy
NP POS
NP POS - Hui Xiang
*NP POS - Michelle
][AdRiAn][
W360 - ][HuI ZheN][
WYZ Zone - Terry

~Ngee Ann Poly~
hi5 - Hui Ying
hi5 - Celestine
T08 - JacQue|iNe
T08 - Shelin
Laos Team 2006 - ][ChEnG ChEnG][
Laos Team 2006 - ][Debbie][
*Laos Team 2006 - ][pEi XiN][
*Laos Team 2006 - ][Shirley][
*China Trip 2007 - ][Ada][
*China Trip 2007 - ][Cherie][
*China Trip 2007 - ][Han Xiang][

~TOO Popular~
Peggy
Fang Ming
Xiu Li
Nyssa
Yvonne

~Friends~
Area 17 CI - Jason
NDP 2003 - Xiao Yuan
Jurong Sec - ][KaReEn][
Jurong Sec - ][WeN][
Jurong Sec - ][Suliani][
Jurong Sec - ][Gayithri][
Jurong Sec - ][GraCe][
Jurong Sec - ][EuNicE][
Jurong Sec - TiVoNa
Jurong Sec - ][JoLeNe][
Jurong Sec - ][HuI JiE][
Jurong Sec - ][JiA XiN][
Jurong Sec - ][Cynthia][

~WOrLd of stars~
Felicia Chin
*][Lao Zha Bo][
*][Director Jack Neo][

♥ MOTIVATION & REFLECTION

To succeed is to stay focus on 1 thing at a time.

Never run away from a problem. Face it or it will haunt you.

Every Morning, when I wake up, I treasure the innocence of being able to enjoy each day.

We can disagree with each other but we must never doubt each other.

I dont need people to decide for me, I will decide my own pathway.

~Teaching~
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

♥ Memories

• 2004 - 2006
• January 2007
• February 2007
• March 2007
• April 2007
• May 2007
• June 2007
• July 2007
• August 2007
• September 2007
• October 2007
• November 2007
• December 2007
• January 2008
• February 2008
• March 2008
• April 2008
• May 2008
• June 2008
• July 2008
• August 2008
• September 2008
• October 2008
• November 2008
• December 2008
• January 2009
• February 2009
• March 2009
• April 2009
• May 2009
• June 2009
• July 2009
• August 2009
• September 2009
• October 2009

♥ Affiliates

FRIENDSTER
ICT CHINA TRIP 07
Guitar 4 Christ
*+ Hotmail
*+ Gmail
*+ YahooMail
NPCC
Christian Guitar Chords
Guitar Pop Songs
*+ Usher Ministry 4S5
*+ Ngee Ann Poly CHC

Imeem